What do you do with a time as confusing as our own? If our leaders continuously fail us, who do we follow? Can I mentally endure the constant shifting of the world events around me? Perhaps 2020 woke us up to a harsh reality. We only control one thing in this life: ourselves. Amidst the craziness of the pandemic I got to visit my birthplace of Twenty-nine Palms, CA for the first time since I was a year old. The place felt as empty and isolated as many of us felt last year, but for me it was the start of a journey towards healing and renewal. I felt the beginning of a shift in perspective both inwardly and outwardly.
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I grew up believing I was inherently inept; I felt I always had to work twice as hard to keep up with the people around me. I hated myself because I believed I was a coward and incapable. But as I've gotten older I've realized that I was really the only one who thought that. I grew up letting the insecure words of a few define me. But we will ultimately determine how we live by how we see ourselves. In 2020 I realized my Creator made me inherently capable and valuable. Every person is made valuable and filled with potential to create good in the world. But how can we accept this if it doesn't always feel true?
What if feelings aren't reality? What if they're just indicators of reality's impact on us; important, but not defining. Maybe truth is truth whether we feel it or not. Maybe I have to make a decision each day I wake up to see myself as valuable; that I have a contribution to give this world. Maybe I'm not here just to take what life or other people give me, but I'm here to create the love and good I want to see. Maybe I'm here to materially manifest a Truth bigger than me. What if that is true for every one of us?